Being Donna

The other evening I watched Being Julia, based on the novel, Theatre by W. Somerset Maugham.  Annette Benning played a British actress of the 1930′s who lived her life playing roles both on and off stage.  Conversations with those in her life often were the same “lines” that she had spoken in previously roles in the theater.  Her relationships with family, friends and lovers quickly fizzled out.  Finally she discovered her unique voice  in a new play when she suddenly altered a scene in order to humiliate the new starlet who was involved with both her husband and lover. Maybe not the most positive approach for her individuality to blossom. During the final scene we find her alone at a restaurant ordering a pint of beer rather than a more “appropriate” drink befitting the great actress…  Was she on the road to authenticity?

As we are nearing the end of our “contact” hours of teacher’s training (December 20th is the final day), I realize I have been given tools to find my authentic self. As each day goes by I’m trying to become even more intentional about how I orchestrate my life. Of course, some days I accomplish very little ;-( . I continue to have the courage to eliminate things from my life that haven’t worked for years.  Amazingly there have been no regrets.. mostly just relief.  As the blog title suggests (Svadhyaya….. inquiry into my own nature, the nature of my beliefs, and the nature of the world’s spiritual journey) I have much yet to discover as the practice continue.  My goal while I’m “being” Donna is to act from the place of authenticity rather than through the roles others want to assign me.  Now if I can get the spiritual practice flowing.

During our session this Sunday with Havi Brooks she challenged us to both identify our resistance to a future as a yoga teacher and our accumulated life skills that can be used to help us determine who “our People” are that will be drawn to our teaching style.  Then we did the most amazing exercise, Shiva Nata (be sure to check out the video), designed to “spark your own epiphanies, find your creative energy, make stuff happen.”  We had to mirror each of her motions and it’s corresponding “word” as she increased speed and complexity of movements.

I laid awake that evening with the creative juices flowing.  Unfortunately I didn’t get out the pencil and paper so now many of the great ideas have dissipated.  BUT..  I have retained the conviction that I’m willing to give  the yoga teacher role a try to see if it is authentically me and “my People” definitely are my peers who have yet to discover yoga or have been frustrated by classes that they were unable to  keep up with. No 20 somethings for me.

As we in training all know… It’s All Yoga and it’s for everyone.   You just need to let the practice find you.

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